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Album Review: TBA

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Film: Transformers

Cambridge’s Local Secrets review begins with “The first 32 years passed without incident. Then I saw Transformers in 2007 and my life was changed forever”. The Times had a slightly different viewpoint and eloquently described it as the equivalent of director, Michael Bay, “beating his chest and waving his penis at us for a couple of hours”. The truth lies somewhere in between.

This movie is an absolute orgy of stunning computer effects. It’s simply jaw-dropping stuff. It succeeds in this where the latest Star Wars efforts failed simply by displaying just what is possible when you unite the best visual director in the world today with a lot of money and a genre like science fiction.

For an hour I gaped in awe as it built from everyday human events into a national crisis with an unseen and unknown enemy, attacking with a force and intensity never witnessed before on Earth. Everything was buzzing along nicely as the evil Decepticons asserted their dominance and then the holier-than-thou Autobots landed and Optimus Prime, their leader, opened his big fat gob. In an instant, I realised the movie I was watching wasn’t going to finish the good work it had started. The payback never came.

It’s actually quite easy to see why it came to this. Michael Bay simply tried too hard to tick all the boxes. You cannot create a movie based on a set of kiddy toys who come packaged with their own simplistic and incomplete back story and hope to ever produce something that pleases the children that played with those toys, the geeks who have latched on to the character cult status, and the movie buffs.

The basic premise of good robots versus evil robots is completely bang-on the money. Where it fails is the human element. By making the robot effects so awesome, Bay has overcompensated by making the human reaction try to equal it. You simply can’t do it without losing the credibility. The stunts are obscenely complex, the vehicles are spotlessly shiny and the sets just get bigger and less realistic.

The result is the movie equivalent of a tag-team wrestling contest between Terminator 2 and The Rock versus 2 Fast 2 Furious and Matrix Revolutions. One minute it’s the best disaster movie ever, the next it’s a lad’s wet dream. Go and see this by all means, but when you turn off you mobile, remember to do the same with your brain.

© Johnskibeat

As Featured On Ezine Articles

7 comments:

Calista*Was*Here said...

Hi John!
Transformers huh? I should see that movie.

I just want to tell u that Fuel my blog is a great opportunity for u to promote yourself as a free lancer/blogger/journalist.
I hope u'll be rated high!
(just fueled u)

Be well and thank u4 stopping by. If u are in a mood, jokebox is still there.

Bye!

Anonymous said...

Oh thats a bit of a shame the trailer looked awesome.

You know you are getting pretty good at this reviewing thing

M x

Unknown said...

Calista, thanks for fueling me. Back at ya.
And yes, definetly check out the movie. I would have still rated it about 7.5 out of 10.

M, you're most kind. I don't think any publishers will pick that up as it's a bit late.

BenSpark said...

AS a fan of the Transformers from way back (still have all my 1984 ones and many of the new ones) I am not a live and die by the original content kind of person. I was happy with Peter Cullen as the voice of Prime, disturbed that Bumblebee sounded way too old, Bumblebee is like a teenager and should have been voiced a little younger. Overall I enjoyed the heck out of the movie.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Nice review there Johnski, I like the way you write, I dont think I will bother watching this in the Cinema... will wait for it on DVD i think!

Cheers
Darren

Rick's Time On Earth said...

I totally agree with your review! I love the hand holding up the fingers!! You make me want to be more creative on my review postings lol. By the way, thanks for the visit to my blog! Oh, and I would never give spoilers away on Harry Potter. I was very careful nor to ruin anything for anyone!! Hope you're enjoying it!